Portland to close this weekend

As we see every year here in Portland, a severe weather pattern swipes into the region and causes the city to shut down. As we've seen the last few years in a row, even the slightest bit of freezing, and an accompanying snow, will send Portland residents into a frenzy, somehow losing all their ability to drive, go to work and school, and function in general. To non-natives, say, from the East Coast or Midwest, it is a laugh...but, hey, at least they know they'll get time off at work at least once during the winter.

Well, this year, actually this weekend, the state of Oregon (yes, Portland, that means us) will be treated to a once-in-a-decade storm that, some forecasters say, may exceed the severity of all storms dating back to the 1960s, thus prompting the National Weather Service to consider issuing a hurricane wind warning.

Although no stranger to rain and shitty weather, Portlanders, for some reason, lose their ability to function when the clouds throw us a curve ball. This can be seen in the numerous schools that close, the employers who shut shop for the day, the mail that doesn't get delivered, and the countless accidents that happen on our roads and highways. Well folks, embrace yourself for a big one. The storm, which now covers the entire Northeast Gulf of Alaska, is expected to bring sustained winds of 90-100 MPH (74 MPH puts it into hurricane wind status), as well as 3-4 inches of rain in its aftermath. The kicker, though, is that prior to the wind and rain, Portland is expected to get snow as soon as Saturday. That means we can expect our mail to be late, newspapers not delivered, and, if you're a communist and send your kid to school on Saturdays, no school.

For more information on the "monster storm," peep the Oregonian online: http://www.oregonlive.com/news/oregonian/index.ssf?/base/news/1196396711223810.xml&coll=7


Pork said...

We knew something was brewing when Little Red climbed in bed with The Wimp. The original Odd Couple. It just better be clear come Thursday.

Anonymous said...

That is just perfect. My daughter just got in the car in Charleston, SC heading to Portland.

Sleeping Crow said...

Bring it on, Jackson! Keep the outlanders away from Amboy! The conversation up here is far too stimulating for anyone with an IQ over 100.

Power to the weather gods.