You call it meth, I call it soap

Ahh, the wonderul process of saponification. Much like turning powder cocain into crack rocks, or cooking up some meth, making soap requires some basic preparation similar to the aforementioned home-chemist pursuits.

Oldie and I have decided to embark on a promising and lucrative soap-making venture, one that involves honing our creativity while also embracing our respective entrepreneurial spirits. If all goes as planned, you'll be able to find our product at the Saturday Market, Freddy Meyers, and any locally-owned, stinky hippy shop. If, on the other hand, the soap business does not propel us into economic elite status, it will, at the very least, provide us with homemade Christmas presents to distribute to friends and family.

While not at liberty to share our unique ingredients, I can say that in buying some basic materials, we were recently mistaken for one of the many meth cooks in the Portland metro area. To limit our expenses, and consequently increase our profits (see how easily we've grasped the basic principles of money-making), we decided to buy all of our supplies at the Dollar Store and Goodwill (don't worry, this will not reduce the quality of our soap...rather it becomes more appealing to the green community since we're using recycled goods). On our recent trip to Goodwill (SE 6th St.), we stocked up on most of the essentials: a glass beaker, a measuring cup, a couple cooking pots, a set of goggles, a block cutting instrument, and, of course, a scale.

Now, if you were one of the former homeless/street people that Goodwill employs, what would you think these materials were for? Keep in mind that meth is a huge problem in Portland and, as is widely known, can be cooked up in any kitchen with all store bought materials. So, here we were, Old wearing a shirt with gold chains imprinted on it, buying all the basic materials for preparing meth, or even crack rocks. While I couldn't contain the excitement of soon becoming a soap mogul, it was also difficult to avoid looking like a couple of petty drug makers. I also felt bad for the cashier who I caused to relapse by the site of the goods we purchased.

In any event, if you want to place an order for some soap, leave a comment. Also, if meth is your thing, we have yet to make our first batch of soap, so you can persuade us to alter our venture if you'd rather get high than clean. Follow the money, right....


Anonymous said...

Can't wait to come clean with the scent of "eau de Goodwill". I trust my Xmas stocking will be filled with lumps of soap rather than coal?

Aurora said...

wow! way cool....can't wait to try some--good luck at the market!