Greasy Tidderbites

Assorted news and adventure updates...reading Jeff's sarcastic (and ironic...you hipster!) last entry has sucked all the creativity out of my heart and soul, so this is what you get:

  • Jeff and I took a trip on down to City Hall to participate in a City Council session. Little did we know that we were trapped in a 3-hour discussion on developer subsidies. Wow. We spent the entire time barely containing giggle-laughter whenever we glanced over at Dan Saltzman obviously suffering from an overdose of methamphetamine cut with black tar heroin.
  • Kes and I checked out the new Cha Taqueria & Bar over on NW 21st and Everett and were not impressed. Items similar to their other, far less snooty, locations were double, sometimes triple, the price. The service was terrible, and our server wouldn't let us participate in their happy hour despite arriving 20 minutes before it ended. Booo. Their al pastor was muy delicioso y autentico, carved straight from the lump of pork rotating in front of the mini-heater, with pina juice dripping down it's exterior. My mouth waters, but not for 3 bucks a piece.

  • As a way to celebrate my heritage, I participated in and received a third place award in the grease-tossing contest at the Festa Italiana. Next year, I swear I'll conquer you both, Mama Giordani and Don Giuseppe!
  • Finished off this year's Flicks on the Bricks series (an outdoor screening of family-friendly films, projected onto a 10 story tall inflatable plastic TV smack-dab in the middle of Pioneer Courthouse Square) with the time capsule of my childhood, Stand By Me. Remember these: I got dibs, your ass is grass, give me some skin, that's boss, cock knocker, you wet end...? A true 80's homage to youthful vernacular.

  • With the closing day of summer, Jeff, Kes and I mourned the death of another Portland institution, the Parking Lot Movie. For as long as we've been here, MacTarnahan's brewery has been showing great films like Where the Buffalo Roam, and The Big Lebowski on a projection screen in their parking lot...viewers crowd around in camp chairs or lounge on the still-warm asphalt, sipping on brew and celebrating summer. Well, no longer. Due to shitty weather the last few weeks, attendance was almost non-existent at the screenings, causing them to drop the affair altogether. We found this out while settling down in the parking lot for what we thought was a night of some Harold & Maude. Oh well, I'm sure someone else will start these up again if Mac's isn't up to the task...

  • I'll finish off with this gem. Close your eyes and imagine that you're hanging out at home, enjoying some good ol' PCP and peyote tea, then BAM! you wake up and this is the scene you've gotten yourself into:

Campus safety officers found a man masturbating and choking himself in the dumpster yard after they found an illegally parked car near his location that was later reported stolen. The masturbation location was visible from several dozen apartments. He was found with a cloth tied around his foot, genitals, and neck, and he was pulling the cloth with his foot. The man said he did not know how he got to the location and appeared to be under the influence of a narcotic, according to a Campus Public Safety report. (taken from PSU's daily paper, the Vanguard)


luckygreen said...

Fart on Mac's. I drove all the way from Seattle to see that movie.

cindy said...

That's a new one for erotic asphyxiation!