Surprise...it's a mutant sea monster!!!

One of the joys of living in Portland is the numerous movie houses that play cheap, second-run and/or independent movies. One of our (Old, Kes and I) favorites (actually, just most conveniently located) is the Laurelhurst Theater on 28th and E. Burnside. If you don't mind waiting a couple months to see that highly anticipated, marquee movie, the $3.00 admission is quite the bargain compared to the $9.00 you'd pay to see it upon it's initial release at the bigger theaters. What's more, instead of overpriced popcorn and Coca Cola, you can buy locally brewed beers and slices of pizza. And, once inside, you'll find tables in front of your seats in which to place your goodies on.

Well, enough pimping of the Laurelhurst (it's a cool spot, but not worthy of a full blog and this much praise). On to the real reason I'm writing: Old's conniving and trickery. He recently convinced Kes and I to go see a movie none of us (except for him) had heard of. He refused to tell us anything about it, implying that it was such a good movie, a description would not do it justice. The real reason he didn't explain it, though, is because Kes and I would not have gone had he told us what it was about. So, because of Old's conniving, I was under the impression that I was going to see some thought provoking, highly acclaimed flick about espionage and deceit. I was quickly disappointed, however, when I met Old inside the theater and he showed me the movie's promotional poster hanging on the wall.

It hit me then that I had been duped. No, we were not seeing a soon-to-be Oscar nominated movie. Rather we were seeing a Korean produced, subtitled movie about a mutant sea monster that terrorizes the city of Seoul. Great. I had an immediate feeling of hate and the accompanying urge to box Old in his face and karate chop his neck. After seeing the movie, I was not nearly as disappointed as I was after seeing the poster, though. Yes, the movie did revolve around a mutant sea creature who eats any Korean that gets in his way. And yes, the movie climaxes when an Olympic-medalist archer brings the mutant to its knees in a truly "heroic" (hint: cheesy) manner. However, the movie was pretty good...in a weird, subtly funny and quirky way. I still have a hard time understanding what provoked Old to see the movie, though. I mean, seriously, what would prompt someone to see this movie based on its description (written below)?

To share in my confusion, you can read an email I sent to him right after seeing the movie. Peep it below:


"Quite possibly, The Host simultaneously ranks as the worst and the best movie I have ever seen. But, how could you have ever guessed it's awesomeness by the the following plot summary, as provided by IMDB.com?

"The film revolves around Park Hee-bong (played by Byun Hee-bong), a man in his late 60s. Park runs a small snack bar on the banks of the Seoul's Han River and lives with his two sons, one daughter and one granddaughter. The Parks seem to lead a quite ordinary and peaceful life, or maybe a tad bit poorer than the average Seoulite. Hee-bong's elder son Gang-du (by Song Gang-ho) is an immature and incompetent man in his 40s, whose wife left home long ago. Nam-il (by Park Hae-il) is the youngest son, an unemployed grumbler, and daughter Nam-joo (by Bae Du-na) is an archery medalist and member of the national team. One day, an unidentified mutant suddenly appears from the depths of the Han River and spreads panic and death, and Gang-du's daughter Hyun-seo is carried off by the monster and disappears. All the family members are in a great agony as they have lost someone dearest to them. But as they find out she is still alive, they resolve to save her."


1 comment:

Oldie said...

Okay, but my trick still worked and you guys loved it...

Be prepared, there's another film I've set my sites upon, and I believe it will top The Host for sheer ohfuckyeah-ness.

By the way, you're a dick for not hyping the Laurelhurst. It's God's gift to movie lover's everywhere.