No More Jesus Jokes...

Apparently the Big Man Upstairs wasn't a fan of my promotion of the hilariously-wrong Jesus Christ's Blog.

Since that post I've developed some crazy form of sinusitis, for which I'm taking a literal pharmacy of meds, forcing me into a monk-like existence. No caffeine, no alcohol, no dairy...are you fucking serious? Cheese, americanos, and gin are my three food groups.

Yesterday, our car was stolen.

Apparently, due to the make/model/year of our steed, we're likely to recover the vehicle, but it will be stripped of its sheet metal, tires, bumper, fender, and engine. I can't wait. Thankfully I work right next door to an Armenian/Russian restaurant/nightclub named Ararat who I know are deeply connected with the Mob and car thieves. I've seen cars dropped off in their lot from the inside of moving trucks, then stripped of their metal and parts. Maybe I'll pay them a visit, looking for information on the cock-faced thieves. I don't even care about the car, I just want my personal effects back. My burned CD collection was included in the abduction of Destro (the name of our car, and homage to the original chrome-domed G.I. Joe arch-nemesis). Pirated pirated CDs. How fitting is that? We also found out where our tax dollars are going to when the cops showed up 5 hours late to take our statement and put out a stolen car notice, meaning it could be anywhere by now.

On my way to hang out with Kes while waiting for the coppers to show, my new cruiser bike broke. It was a fitting end to an already shitty day. I've been meaning to post a picture of my new bicycle...it's a beast, weighing close to 100 pounds, and has a basket on the front perfect for my tape player-only boom box. Our friend Nico now refers to me as Debo, from Friday. Really, though, I just don't feel like sharing it's wonder with you...I'll post more about it later once it's patched up.