1.06.2007

Can't sleep

This is rubbish (that's "crap" for those who don't speak British). What I'm referring to is my inability to fall asleep on most work nights. My work week runs from Sunday through Wednesday, 7am to 5pm. Because of the early mornings, I try to go to bed between 10 and 11, with the hopes of getting 7-8 hours of sleep. However, as is becoming customary, I can not fall asleep until well after my 11 bedtime. Saturday evenings are the worst, as I begin to dread the coming week and anticipate all the horrible things to come.

Due to confidentiality issues (no, I'm not a spy for the CIA), I can't name the place that I work or give any specific details about what I do. But, I can say this: I do leave work most days with a new bruise and/or cut somewhere on my body. The clients that I work with hear voices, can't always control their bowels, kick holes in walls when they get mad, and assault people when they become overly anxious. By some serious stroke of luck, I was given the job to keep these people (in a group setting) safe and create a therapeutic environment for them. Yay!

Now, a year later, and multiple injuries and verbal lashings incurred, I am at the same job and unable to sleep at night because of it. I have tried various ways to combat this problem: I tried going to bed even earlier and reading, but this just stimulates my mind too much; I've tried drinking, but I don't want my mom to think I'm an alcoholic; I've tried meditating, but it's just like trying to sleep in a sitting position; I've even tried writing blogs, but it just keeps me up longer (I knew I shouldn't have started this).

I'm at a serious loss. For real, it's starting to bug the poop out of me. The obvious answer is to quit, I know. Finding another job is the main challenge to that option, though. Being an adult sucks in that sense; you just can't up and leave a job. In the meantime, I guess I'll just bitch and whine, while playing the lotto. Oh, and if anybody has a job offer....

2 comments:

porksy said...

Talk to Mike about learning to visualize a place to go to in your mind. But beware, when I did this I built a cabin deep in the woods and my mind kept decorating.....You could always take early retirement and move to Amboy.

Anonymous said...

jeff why not try some valerium root tincture...it is what I use...it is a relaxant...talk to me more about it later. Kes