Random spitter on lock.

-I have a multitude of notes on potential blog-worthy items...the most baffling item so far would have to be this drunkenly scrawled napkin note:

Lower Alabama Jukebox/Goblin Book...WEED, BUD
I seriously don't know what the hell that means. I'll let you imagine your own story on that one...

-I'm the type of individual who'll notice that they've been overcharged by a buck on a bill and follow-up with the restaurant to tell them what's up...imagine my surprise when I actually learned something from a recent $1.40 additional charge call to Halibuts II in the NE Stump. The owner/manager informed me that it wasn't his fault, that he gets calls like mine a few times a week wondering why they've been overcharged a seemingly insignificant amount...upon further investigation, the owner discovered that these "random" charges were in fact instigated by the banks of the cardholders themselves. You see, it's apparently common practice for banks to boost the bills of customers by $1-2, then refund that amount to the customers accounts a day or two later (which the majority of folks wouldn't even notice). The reason? Well, they take that temporary free cash, pocket it, and turn around and invest it in short-term stocks and bonds, which they cash out, making a few extra bucks in the process. It's only when you imagine the grand scale of this scheme that one sees the immense amount of fucking money we're talking about. Tens of millions of card-users getting overcharged by each individual bank, even every few months, adds up extremely quickly to a nice "little" bonus to the tune of millions of dollars. "Free Checking" my ass...it appears nothing is really free; we're just capital to be invested at their leisure. Suckers of cock.

-Just a few things to add to Jeff's post about our trip to Ground Kontrol:
1) I don't know about the first impression being that of an 80's dance club (Jeff is extremely obsessed with these for some pathological reason I haven't yet discovered), but I do know that I flashed back to the best cinematic part of said generation and era. Yes, that means Corey Feldman and Corey Haim were in full effect, jean jackets concealing vampire stakes, with Ferris Beuller chillin' with his whiny bitch of a friend, Fred Savage getting beat by some little girl at Super Mario Bros. 3, and Tom Hanks straight looking BIG at the bar. HELL yeah.

2)I came in rocking an old-school bag of quarters, not because I'm cool, or radical, but because I'm a piner narc skeezer. And the controllers were so sticky, I had horrific flashbacks of the quarter-enabled porn booths in the Tenderloin of my youth. I can't believe I just wrote that.

3)My playlist: TMNT (of course, you know I smoked the game's homage to b-boys and jazz, Rocksteady and Bebop). Ghosts & Goblins (holy shit, this game is still disgustingly hard despite decades of further video game experience). Metal Slug 3 (never played this as a kid, but it was surprisingly dope). Dr. Mario (a favorite of mine and I killed it). Gauntlet (I'm a total nerd for fantasy characters...shut that trap or I'll banish you with a Level-12 Fireball of Burning Fury). You know I had to finish shit off by bringing it back to the roots with some pinball...I've heard rumors of a Portland-based pinball gang, complete with matching tattoos, colors, and jewelry. Weird, but where to I sign up?

No comments: