Sperm Murder

Currently in Oregon, there's a measure (43) on the ballot that, if passed, will legally require doctors to send out parental notification letters if a minor comes to them for an abortion. The seriously fucked up part is that if a father rapes his daughter, he'll get a nice little letter in the mail informing him of his daughter's abortion of their child...hmm, and this isn't a set up for further rape, physical abuse, or infanticide/murder? There is no clause for incest and rape exlusions if this measure passes.
Well, apparently in the state of Oregon, anyone can plop down $500 and get their own space in the voter's pamphlet to write whatever the hell they want in the Arguments in Favor or Opposition sections. This one was so great, I'm including it in it's entirety. It is an argument in "Favor."

'LIFE IS SACRED!

At the moment of fertilization, cells begin to divide and multiply. Every cell contains our DNA--three billion pieces of genetic information. Every cell is sacred!

The 80 trillion cells in our body are dividing and multiplying all the time. And tragically, some cells die and are replaced. Why, God kills off several hundred billion of your red blood cells every day! But "Thou shalt not kill." Only God may kill your cells.

Every cell is sacred--sperm, egg, embryo, fetus, heart, hair, fingernail. Jesus said, "Even the hairs of your head are all numbered" (Matthew 10:30). Every cell is God's holy creation.

Although the Bible clearly indicates that the cells of the fetus have no soul separate from its mother (see previous argument), abortion nonetheless murders precious living cells.

According to Leviticus, a menstruating woman is unclean. She has wasted an unborn egg that could become a human life. The law should require parental notification of impending unborn uncleanliness.

Every act of masturbation kills up to 500 million unborn lives. Every sperm is sacred! Just like abortion, masturbation murders soulless cells. There should be parental notification prior to masturbation.

According to the Bible, beard shaving (Leviticus 19:27) is every bit as immoral as homosexuality! Just like abortion scrapes away life in the uterus, shaving violently scrapes away and murders millions of living skin cells. Barbershops should be required to give parental notification before committing shaving sin.

Did you know that slaughtering a sacred appendix causes it to feel pain?

The Bible says that children who fail to honor their parents should be stoned to death (Exodus 21:17). Implementing biblical law as Oregon public policy could effectively eliminate teenage abortion, appendectomy, shaving and sperm-murder.

Every cell is sacred. Every cell--from soulless fetus to fingernail--is a precious life that must not be killed.

VOTE YES TO STOP THE SLAUGHTER OF THE HOLY HANGNAILS!'